What ails this sign?

Can acupuncture cure the many maladies affecting this sign? Sion, Insomma, Low Energ and really bad punctuation? I think this patient is terminal.

Memorial

Patrick Swayze may be gone but this guy at the Atlantic Antic keeps his memory alive.

Alas, he doesn't have a Demi.

Beef industry gets a closer look as story of paralyzed woman hits the press

Beef industry gets a closer look as story of paralyzed woman hits the press

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Maybe it's French

This truck is radio dispached. I don't know what that means. I see that this company does roofing, but whoever painted the sign on the truck must have been doing "roofies". I know I'm dating myself but roofies are some kind of drug from back in the day. I wonder if anyone still does roofies?

A loss for words

I

Homegirls Potato Chips

How did I miss this one? Until today I never knew Homegirls Potato Chips had ever existed. There is also a Homeboys Potato Chips but I can't find a picture of the package. These chips apparently were created in Philly in the early 90's. The three girls on the front are called the "sweeties". The back of the bag has a series of "around the way" sayings. I guess the company that produced them no longer exist but I'm going to have to do some more research. Meanwhile enjoy these with some grape Kool-Aid. Quite refreshing!

Life in prison

Ailing Lockerbie Bomber Is 'Dying Now'

Why is it taking so long? Life in prison should mean you die in prison. If he were not sick would it be ok if he just had a heart attack and croaked? What if he got shanked by another prisoner? Would they rush him back to Libya so he could die in dignity? Way past time to turn out the lights on this guy. Please let him have a swift departure from the world of the living.

NAACP Clueless

The NAACP has lost it's collective mind. What purpose are they serving by holding a rally of support for Michael Vick at the Eagles pre-season game tonight? People who hate Vick will continue to hate him. Nothing he can say or do is going to change that. This action just shows how bankrupt the NAACP has become. They have lost all relevance. They no longer have a cause. If I were a member of this organization, I'd be ashamed.

Vick has been convicted of a crime and has paid his debt to society. He now has been given a second chance to excel in his profession. He can expect nothing more. Hopefully he can turn his life around and recover from the devastating financial calamity that has befallen him. As far as making people love him, no rally or demonstration could ever accomplish that.

Race card

Paterson Accuses Media Critics of Racism in Trying to Push Him Out

No Mr. Paterson, it's not racism. It's just that you suck as a governor. Even a blind man can see that..........Well maybe not.

Murder most foul

Megan Wants a Millionaire has been cancelled. It was on the verge of being must see TV for me. Admittedly I do watch some of the trashy reality shows. Snob that I am I still view many of these shows as a guilty pleasure. I had seen the initial episode of this show and basically wrote it off as being too stupid to watch. A bunch of dumb guys with money vying for the affections of a vacuous blond chick. Ho hum!

Well who would have predicted the turn of events that would have, should have propelled this piece of crap show into an instant classic. It appears as though one of the contestants, Ryan Alexander Jenkins, may have murdered his wife. How juicy is that. His wife Jasmine Fiore a former model was found stuffed in a suitcase sans fingers and teeth! Mr. Jenkins reported her missing on the same day her body was found and has since been on the lam. Now for some strange reason "Megan" has been cancelled. Seriously the man has not been convicted of a crime. Is he not innocent until proven guilty in a court of law? Just because he has fled doesn't mean he's done anything wrong. The "Fugitive" ran and he was innocent. OJ ran and he was found "not guilty". Why is Jenkins not given the benefit of the doubt? How fascinating it would be to watch him on the show to try and decipher what he is thinking at any given moment especially if he does something crazy. I for one would be watching and I doubt I'd be the only one.

No checks. Cash only.

Clearly I'm in the wrong business. How do these televangelists do it? They actually convince people to donate money to them in exchange for prayers. In addition they tell people that everything you contribute comes back to you ten fold. How true can that possibly be? In this economy maybe it's a good investment. Bernie Madoff is in jail for pretty much doing the same thing except that his investors didn't have a prayer. What a racket. Can an atheist get in on the deal? What would Jesus do?

Carrie ate here

Last week I was on Bleecker Street in the Village when I noticed a long line of people standing outside this bakery. I wondered what's so special about this place? Their food must be really good! One person would come out and the enforcer at the door would only let one person in. I looked in the window and the pastries seemed quite ordinary. Well since this place has drawn such a crowd, I figured I'd place it in my memory bank and come back at a time when there was no line to try their wares.

A few days later at work I was reading another blog and I found out why this place was so popular. Evidently an episode of Sex and the City was filmed here and Carrie ate a cupcake from Magnolia. Ever since that episode aired, this place has been swamped with brain dead show followers. People can be such sheep at times. What do they get out of this? Am I missing something? Now I'm considerably less likely to try this place. But what if their stuff is really good? I'm not one to miss out on a good pastry. I am so conflicted.

Not that there's anything wrong with that

Report: Cheney Says Bush Went Soft

Maybe I'm wrong but I thought Laura said this. I guess maybe Bush wasn't that fond of Dick after all.

Cash for Clunkers

Can I trade my clunker in for this car? It has zero emissions, has a range of 5000 miles, uses no gas and makes it's own electricity. It is the Ford Nucleon. This car has a tiny nuclear reactor fueled by uranium although I'm sure plutonium can't be far behind. Can you be any more environmentally safe? OK so maybe there will be some drawbacks like if you have an accident the accident scene will have to be encased in a concrete sarcophagus with walls 10 feet thick for what 10.000 years or so? Every accident would be a mini Chernobyl featuring mass evacuations and who knows how many deaths and possible future cancers and birth defects. The planet is already overpopulated so is this so much of a bad thing? Then of course there are the terrorist groups that will start stealing these things and try to build a dirty bomb to be detonated in some major American city. That's a small price to pay in order to stop global warming.

I think auto manufacturers should start producing these things immediately, Can't wait to take this baby out for a spin.

My newest Facebook friend

Is this a joke? Usually on Facebook you can become a fan of a celebrity or join a discussion group or something. You can even "friend" them if they are alive. Yet somehow you can "friend" dear departed Aaliyah. I sent a request about 2 months ago and finally got a reply yesterday. Maybe she's very busy in the hereafter. Probably a fan or family member wants to keep her alive so they created a facebook page. I was never a big fan but I'm glad to be your friend Aaliyah.

Now if only Heather Hunter will reply to my friend request. She's alive.

Sucks to be you

We've had some pretty severe weather in NYC over the past few days. With the exception of yesterday, for the past week we have had some very heavy rainstorms accompanied by high winds, hail and lightning. One unfortunate man in Central Park was knocked unconscious by a falling tree branch. At last report he was in a coma. Hopefully he will recover. This picture from 153rd street in Jamaica shows just how bad it was. How would you like to get up in the morning to go to work and walk over to your car and see this? Sucks to be this person but at least no one was in the car.

House Specialties

This place is in SOHO. Pizza's probably good. Don't know about the prices of their food but whatever they specilize in I'm not sure if I want to try it. Ben you should have read your awning before you hung it. It's special alright.

so special

A double header this time. Something very "special" about these signs. Two tries....... two failures. Now that's special.

This sign must have been created by the Jack the Ripper of sign makers. What is cattering? Is it the act of creating a cat? A lot of Bodegas use cats to control their mouse population and they can be a lot cheaper than an exterminator. This store may be the place to go to get a specially made tabby for your establishment.

Sandwish? You can wish upon a star, why not on sand? Maybe then your wish will surely come true. I think a lot of drunken people say sandwish though.

I think the co before beer is supposed to be cold. I have no idea what happened to the l and d. They don't seem to have ever been there. This whole thing is just wrong!

The worlds fastest coffee

Forget espresso, nothing beats expresso, the worlds fastest coffee. Seconds to prepare and so flavorful you'll drink it in a flash.

The curious case of.....

Bottons, bottons, who's got the bottons? Who approved this? How can there be so many fucked up signs in this town? This sign advertises and promotes your business. Can't you pay a little attention to detail? What does this say about the owners? I'm not perfect but I think I'd have picked up on this one. After all this is one of the items that I want everyone to know that I carry.

Stationary

Here is a store that sells stationary. The question is stationary what. Bikes? Fronts? They really need to be more specific. Perhaps I should stop in and ask to see their stationary wares. They'll probably show me all the merchandise they carry that is not moving. At least there are no misspellings. That is a small victory.

Questions

Michael Jackson was not the biological father of any of his three "children", nor did he adopt any of them. So how did he come to be in possession of them? Did he purchase them? We know he paid Debbie Rowe to basically renounce her rights to the first two children but what about Blanket? Blanket's birth certificate doesn't show a mother. Michael Jackson was not the father so how did he leave the hospital with the baby? Who did he pay? Why has no one come forward who could explain exactly what happened? Is it illegal to purchase a human being? Were they slaves? Were they pets? I'm not saying that he wasn't a good father nor am I implying that something untoward was going on with respect to these children. I just don't understand how this situation came to be. Michael Jackson was a strange dude who lived a strange life. For me , I think this child situation is the strangest of all.

Well now that he's dead a lot of crap will be unleashed on the public from people who knew him and people who know people who knew him. Lies, damned lies, statistics and innuendo. This one will never end.

Who is he and what is he to you?

Blocked

The horrible spelling in this picture is not to be believed. Barracades? Are you kidding me? Maybe it's the Spanish word for barriers and I'm the one who is wrong. I'm sure that more than one person had a hand in creating and or erecting this sign yet no one picked up on this error. No wonder Johnny can't read.

There is no "I"

There is no "I" in team. At Restoration Plaza there is no "I" in being either. If this is the attention they give to the little things, how shoddy is the work that is being (be ng) done inside? Why do I have the feeling that after the renovation the place will look exactly the way it did before? I guess by the fall of 2009 we will know the answer.

I'm betting not on time and over budget. Let's hope I'm wrong.

Decline of western civilization

The following you tube video defies any attempt at rationalization. I remember when music had real substance. There were songs about love , life, family, pets, just about anything. Even infidelity was handled in a tasteful manner. Now I guess people like to keep it real and raw. So sit back, gather the little ones around a groove to this tune. Hopefully it will lighten up your day. I know it made mine.

You want to smell what?

MTA

This sign says that this subway entrance will be closed from 05/21/09 to 06/21/09. This picture was taken on 06/30/09 and the entrance is still closed. There has been no work done here since at least Friday June 26th. As far as I know the MTA was only repairing the stairs. I'm no expert but there didn't seem to be anything wrong with the stairs in the first place. Why does it take more than a month to fix the stairs? Why have they stopped working? Did they find something? Maybe Jimmy Hoffa or a portal to hell? Perhaps the father of Michael Jackson's children?

Inquiring minds want to know.

Sheding, brodge

What is sheding? Is there another kind other than the sidewalk variety? Also what is a brodge and why can't you store material on it? I also like the fact that the permit number does not fit in the space provided. They tried to get creative to remedy the situation.

Did anyone proof this before they hung it up? (click photo to enlarge).

Kickball

I read recently on another blog that the hipsters in Williamsburg had adopted kickball as their sport of choice. Kickball? I hadn't seen or heard of kickball since I played it in elementary school back in the early sixties. Well what do I see today in Chinatown? A kickball game! This is incredible. It's like baseball except the ball is much bigger and you kick it instead of batting it. Nine players to a side, three outs to an inning and seven innings to a game. Three strikes and you are out, but four fouls will get you out also. I will assume that four balls will award you a walk but I didn't see this happen. I kind of remember that if the ball was kicked, the fielder was able to get the batter out if he hit the kicker with the ball before the kicker reached base. This didn't seem to be the case in this game but maybe my memory is faulty or we just played a rougher version. After all I did grow up in a very tough neighborhood. Since baseball and softball are no longer Olympic sports, I wonder if the IOC will replace them with kickball for the London Games in 2012?

Stupid Comment

8. WOW! what a truly sad day. America has lost two icons who were both sooo young...
It always happens in 3's: Ed Mc Mahon, Farrah, and now the gloved one...
May they all rest in peace.
So sad

Posted at 5:44PM on Jun 25th 2009 by pandabear

The other million people who passed away on this planet over the past few days do not count. People say the stupidest things. Even in print. Sad to see Michael & Farrah die. Ed McMahon did it to escape his debts. Wow I'm so cruel!

Ciga what? Ciga who?

Fare hike needed to fund MTA literacy classes. Someone actually crossed out the third "o" and wrote in an "i" but someone else came along and changed it back.

Inshurances? We don't need no stinking inshurances!

At first I thought this is where you would hatch a hare brained scheme but that is hare as in rabbit. This is hair brainding. I'd love to find out what this is but since I'm bald I guess I'll never know.

I wonder if it hurts?

Going on a trip? We've got all the luggages you'll ever need.

Call now. Operators standing by.

The kindest cut of all.

My supersize ex girlfriend

My ex girlfriend whom I have not seen in at least five years invited me out to dinner next Monday. There have evidently been some changes in her life since the last time I saw her. She says she has been diagnosed as morbidly obese with high blood pressure and diabetes. The really scary thing is that she has been a vegetarian her entire life. My understanding (since I'm also vegetarian) is that it's a healthier way of eating. Still I'm sure, based on her eating habits when we were dating, that she has consumed mass quantities of pastries and other fat laden albeit plant based foods. That, coupled with no exercise and a very stressful job with long hours, can lead one to pack on the pounds.

I don't know what she will look like when I see her but she did warn me to "be prepared."

I'm thinking more, "Be afraid. Be very afraid."

Jumper?

No news is no news. I checked all newspapers and no mention of the poor soul who probably met his or her end under the J train. Nothing on TV either. I guess this tragedy is not worthy of note. Makes you wonder what else happens in this town that goes unreported. Kind of sad.

Jumper?

My commute home today seemed like just a regular ride on the J train. I was reading my book "Vietnam A History" by Stanley Krasnow (I am a total history geek). I had already checked out any fine ladies on the train and settled in to just enjoy my reading. As the train started to pull into the Woodhaven Station, it stopped suddenly. I thought to myself, "This is not good". First of all no one pulled the emergency brake or the stop would have been even more abrupt. Second, the train was only partially in the station. My instinct lead me to believe that someone took a dive in front of the train.

After sitting for a about a minute, the conductor announced that the train had stopped because of a sick passenger. If this is the case why didn't the train pull all the way into the station? Another minute goes by and he announces that the train is out of service and the passengers will have to exit the train. His voice just doesn't sound right. Another 30 seconds pass by and we can hear the train operator speaking with the dispatcher advising him that only four cars have pulled into the station. He then instructs the riders to walk through the train to the conductors car to exit. We all file through the single open door. By now it's obvious to me that my assumption was correct. As I leave the train, the conductor says that there is someone under the train. Several passenger get upset and begin asking, "How do we get home?" "What do we do now?" The conductor muttered half out loud and half to himself, "People are getting angry at me, I had nothing to do with it. It's not my fault if someone jumps in front of the train."

The Woodhaven station on the J line is elevated. I figured there is no point in waiting on the platform because this rescue/recovery (I'm leaning toward recovery/cleanup) could take a while. I go down to the street. A large crowd has gathered and police and emergency vehicles are arriving at the scene. In the middle of the street I see maybe three red baseball size clumps of stuff just lying there. I guess they are chunks of flesh. There are cops looking up at the tracks and pointing. I have to go to the other side of the street to see what they are looking at because other officers are putting up the crime scene tape. When I get to the other side I look up and dangling from the underside of the platform under the train are red strips of who knows what. I think about taking out my camera and snapping a picture but decide against it. I've seen enough. Time to leave the scene and go home.

After walking a few blocks I realize that most people are completely unaware of what happened less than a quarter mile away. A life possibly lost. Another anonymous death in NYC. I'm betting it doesn't even make the evening news.

jury Duty

No wonder people hate jury duty. After being told to report at 10:00AM, we had to wait an hour to be called to the courtroom for the trial to begin. The judge's instructions to the jury seemed to take forever. I was expecting a very brief trial especially after the judged divulged that the only witness would be the old woman who was the victim of the hit and run. The plaintiffs attorney and the defense attorney gave their opening statements. After being sworn in, the woman gave her testimony to her attorney. She was very soft spoken and the court reporter kept asking her to speak up so that she could properly record the testimony. The witness was then questioned by the attorney for the defense. This case seemed pretty clear cut to me, guess this will be over today and I could get back to my so-called life. Unfortunately the judge had other plans. After noting the time...12:39 PM we were instructed to take lunch and report back to the courtroom at 2:30PM.

I spent a leisurely lunch time reading my book on the Brooklyn Heights Promenade and walking around the area. I returned to the courthouse and was escorted back to the jury room with the other seven jurors. More reading and waiting. Six of the jurors (myself included) fell asleep while waiting to be summoned. We could hear the attorneys and the judge speaking in the courtroom but I could not understand what they were saying. Finally at approximately 3:15 

we were summoned back to the courtroom.

The judge announced that a ruling in favor of the plaintiff had been reached. However, that is not the end of the trial. The amount of damages to be paid has to be determined. We have to return to the courtroom tomorrow morning at 9:45AM. What!!!!! Couldn't this portion of the proceedings be determined today? How long would it take? She asks for "x" amount and is awarded "y" amount. I'm sure the jury could figure it out by 5:00 PM. Why do we have to go through this another day? To make matters worse, I'm only an alternate. I have no say. This is so unfair. 

Jury duty sucks!

Jury Duty

Fuck Bush

Fuck Bloomberg

Fuck Obama & McCain

Fuck then all

I'm illegal so freakin' what

Ron Paul 4 President

Written on 1st stall 3rd floor mensroom 141 Livingston Street courthouse

Jury Duty

I had to report to jury duty at dank, dreary & depressing 141 Livingston Street today. What a mind numbing experience. What's even worse is that I got picked for a trial as an alternate juror. Am I not good enough to be a regular juror? I've never actually been picked for a jury and I've been called for jury duty at least four times. I don't know if I can continue to handle this continual rejection. The trial is about some old lady who was a victim of a hit & run. The driver was never caught but there is evidently some New York State fund that you can sue to get compensated for your pain & suffering. As far as I know, the only witness is the victim and the only other testimony will be from her doctor. This trial should be real short. Unless someone doesn't show up, I will have no say in the matter. Hopefully I can stay awake. Sad to say but I'd rather be at work.

Fake Feud

The people at Black Voices on AOL have a little too much time on their hands. Why are they trying to start a feud between Oprah Winfrey and Wendy Williams where none exists? Wendy's new syndicated show starts on July 13th and the dimwits at Black Voices are pondering whether Oprah is over and if Wendy is going to replace her. It's almost as if they are saying that two strong Black women cannot co-exist on daytime television unless one deposes the other. These two women do not even share the same demographic. Clearly Oprah appeals to an older more conservative audience and Wendy's audience would be younger and hipper. Wendy is "edgy" (I hate that term) and controversial, Oprah is pretty mainstream. Oprah is losing audience share but I can't see Wendy picking up the people that no longer watch Oprah. Wendy has to establish a following. She can be abrasive but any attempt to tone her act down too much would lead to her most loyal followers abandoning her in the process. 

They can both prosper on daytime television. Most talk shows are pretty standard and Wendy could inject some new life into a tired genre. Good luck to both of them.